two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
