Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
