No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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