are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize