i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
