Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
