Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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