WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
