So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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