ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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