Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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