Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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