so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
