Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just gift wrapped bread.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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