Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
