there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
