Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
