Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
