Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
