how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
