I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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