I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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