and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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