Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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