so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
