I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
