whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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