You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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