I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
