I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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