I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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