this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
