Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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