I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
