I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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