It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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