lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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