If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
