Who wears a wallet chain?!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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