garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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