dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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