Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
