I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
