i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
