I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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