On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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