u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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