Yo dont text me then not text me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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