is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
