paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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