You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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