The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
