The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
