What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He is an equal opportunity slut.
do herpes really smell.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize