worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
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Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.