Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ