You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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