just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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