Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
