Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
