i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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