Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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