Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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