You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Sponge bath it is.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You ruined the universe
Randomize