worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
